Anything with my teeth!
I will do anything you like my old teeth. I had two out a while back and they just sit in a bag. You can have them, I can keep them, I can make something with them or even just throw them away. For £5 I will provide photographic keepsakes of whatever you want me to do with them.
America we can negotiate!
United Kingdom - 10/10/08
Push My Bike!!
My Vespa is constantly breaking down. I can often be seen pushing it around when it decides to expire and I am becoming a bit of celeb around these parts of the world. For a one off fee of £5 pounds I am willing to contact at any time so you too can enjoy the pain and happiness of lugging my bike around town. Think of the conversations you will have. Its Great!! Available 24hrs a day. Not usually when its cold or raining. Sorry
United Kingdom - 9/10/08
anyone that asks i will send a picture of my self in the smallest mens string bikini you ever seen standing on a crouded beach.
United States of America - 28/8/08
Interesting thoughtful individual
i enjoy discussing & doing different item's at different time's & location's in difrferent situation's at different time's in my life . I do not Drive a Car currently,I can Drive a Car in the future once my current Doctor give's me the permisstion to Drive once again in my future . My CJ-7 Jeep Wrangler flipped on me in March in 1988 when Jeep was having problem's with Jeep CJ-Wrangler's flipping at that time . I drove a Car in Texas in 1992 . I well become more detailed on my informaation concerning the Driving in better detail in the future .I'am 50 Year's old I live in Carson California .Both my Parent's Died in 2,006 . My Uncle Dennis moved into my Parent's old room . Dennis is a good individual . What we do together we do not have to tell Dennis or Mike .We well keep what we do & discuss between you & I . My Home address is Tim Frisk,Dennis Tucker South Avalon,122,Carson,California,90746 . My room phone number is 1-310-808-0557 . I have a answer machineyou can E-Mail different letter's & picture's & you can call & visit during the Day or Night in the future,Tim,8-21-2,008,Thrusday
United Kingdom - 21/8/08
will trade for a tank of gass
United States of America - 14/8/08
for $299.99 per day, I will follow you around wherever you go, make stuff up about how great you are and discreetly let it slip to the target(woman of your choice). I'll tell her all about your time in the special forces, your former Olympic days, your patents, how your wife was killed by terrorists, the special olympics wrestling team you coached, the time you saved the president, etc, etc.
United States of America - 6/8/08
For a one off payment of £500 I will send you one present each year on your birthday for as long as we both shall live
United Kingdom - 1/8/08
I will write your name in DNA at least a million million times
For £1000 I will have your name "written" in DNA code (name will be spelt in standard ammino acid single letter designation using the appropriate triplet DNA nucleotide codon, sorry no B, O, U, J, Y or Z)I will then clone the piece of DNA coding your name into a vector (circular, replicatable piece of DNA). I will then transform this into harmles bacteria, which are able to mantain the piece of DNA. After screening to check that the bacteria now contains your name the bacteria can be multiplied up to over a million million individual cells all with a piece of DNA coding for your name. If desierd long term stocks of the bacteria can be made.
Dr B Ryall
United Kingdom - 1/8/08
Soul: Walk around the World
I offer to walk around the World on the souls of my bare feet. Actual route to be agreed with sponsor and should avoid any danger zones or zones of conflict. On completion of 1 full circuit and submission of supporting evidence, 1million pounds Sterling is to be my fee.
United Kingdom - 29/7/08
For $25 I'll beat you with a curtain rod with you tied to an uncomfortable chair in a shitty hotel room in crackville all the while with 2girls1cup playing on a black and white TV on a continuous loop. If that don't cheer you up nothing will. No refunds.
United States of America - 24/7/08
At the cost of your time and effort in sending me an email; i will get loaded on a friday night and spit off of my balcony into the swimming pool below. I am also willing to shout at people or random inanimate objects if your suggestion amuses me. The next morning i will compose a short statement in regards to what i remember about the event and send it to your email address.
Australia - 19/7/08
Mobile phone text messages
Fancy something new and exciting to brighten you up on dull and the stressful days...Look no further just Txt your mobile phone number to me at no cost and I will Txt you random Messages at various intervals during the day
United Kingdom - 15/7/08
Flatterer Of The Unflattered
Flattery rarely comes no-strings. Flatterers frequently expect favours returned. So, here, while things are hardly no-strings, at least said strings are blatant. If you, or your friends, feel unflattered, simply get in touch, set negotiations in motion and for a nominal fee I will flatter any recipient via email or online instant messenger. Currently, face-to-face flattery is unavailable but if this pilot project proves succesful, said service could be forthcoming. Please contact me with specifics as you're all fantastic people (that first flatter is supplied fee free).
United Kingdom - 30/6/08
The first person to reply to this advert will receive a free ticket to a gig.
W/ yours truly.
United Kingdom - 2/5/08
(Knowledge of Itself)
The Sell of knowledge is acquired only by me.. I will tell you what you need to know in life to submit yourself to accomplish anything...
Price Varies on Problems
United States of America - 5/3/08
hi.. ever been unable or unwilling to live your dream? fulfill a wish? or explore your deepest desire? on your behalf i am willing to live, fulfill and explore your imagination for you.. all you have to do is cover my expenses.
Your dreams will come true!
United Kingdom - 2/9/06
don't do what i did
don't do what i did it hurt and still does! and looks likly to be fatal. if you want to know what i did then give me a shout and for a small fee i will tell you what it was that i did "if i'm not dead by then, from the thing that i did" so hurry offer ends when i die and so does the knowledge!
United Kingdom - 10/12/05
SELLING SOUL !
i will sell my soul for 5 pounds , it has only been used once ... in doors e mail me if you would like to buy it .... i accept payment through paypal
United Kingdom - 9/7/05
whatever you want or need. I do it all
United Kingdom - 29/6/05
I MEAN ANYTHING!
Mature male UK needs £50,000. ANYTHING that can be done in one day!
United Kingdom - 28/6/05
I will do anything, for $100 that is. The only thing i won't do is murder. Buy me!!!
Ireland - 27/6/05
send me anything!!!!
send me anything, whether its a peice of paper, or a huge expensive mansion. I will generously accept all of ur offers at your expense. If u do, i'll...i'll...well i cant think of anything to do for u BUT if u can make me rich then i will PERSONALLY COME TO EACH PERSON WHO CONTRIBUTEDOF AND THANK U IN PERSON AND AIR IT ON OPRAH.
United States of America - 27/6/05
I will do anything for those with the write atitude willing to give me a quid! honest!
hegaty peg peg
United Kingdom - 5/3/05
I'll be your Internet Stalker
I'm willing to stalk you over the internet. I will find as much information as I can about you based on just a bit of information. I am not talking about social security numbers or anything, but pictures, information, school work, people who know you, etc. I'll put it in a small package so you know where I got all the information. The cost of this service will start at $40.00 and increase with the depth of information I find in addition to the amount. (For instance if I can't find that many sites that involve you it will be a flat rate of $40.00) For a small fee this service can include pretending to be someone you know (ex-girlfriend, secret admirer, roommate, sibling, anyone) and completely obsessing over you. I am able to make a fake AIM/livejournal/myspace/email/etc accounts so I can "keep track" of you. My level of involvement will directly correspond to information provided by you, your wants and needs and of course, price. (For instance, for a low price of $75.00/week I will pretend to be your ex-girlfriend and message you on AIM up to 20 times/day, leave you two-three livejournal posts and update a blog about how much I love you. Provided picture and will post them there and talk about the good old days when we were together. In addition to this I will email your friends (from a fake email address, of course) asking about your new girlfriend/life/friends and begging them for info.) Need an internet stalker, I'm your girl. Give me a call. All prices are negotiable and dependent on customer satisfaction.
United States of America - 12/1/05
Need to clean out your fridge?
I eat everything. I will eat anything in your fridge, if you simply send it to me. I will even eat expired foods, and take pictures of my eating it. So take this golden opporutunity to clean out your fridge!!!
United States of America - 31/12/04
Anything for 1 hour.
except swapping your filthy homosexual bodily fluids into my body or causing death to man or beast. Yes, anything, i will walk into a police station naked, i will shit on the floor in tesco's, i will piss on your neighbour, i will superglue your mother to a cows arse. Absolutely anything. £25,000. note. task must be complted within 1 hr. task must not include a series of tasks. 1 task per order. All travelling expenses or equipment required will be invoiced at the end of the hour and payable within 5 minutes, in addition to my 25 large which i must have up front and held by my mate til ive finished. hurry, only 3 left.
not a vessel
United Kingdom - 17/12/04
confusion and subliminal messages
FOR SALE. Limited stock so hurry. scakjay bonjorno beanie hat cockmucnhing foo manjay.Pay me £150 by pay pal now, do it do it. for the measley sum of £1,799, i will send you a confusing email twice a day for 2005. I guarantee you will not have a fucking clue what is going on. kill yourself. rancid clogpustabile, pay pal me £5,000, do not remember anything. Buy 35000 tins of sardines in tomatoe sauce, whilst the emails will be from me, the subliminal codes will erase your entire memory and you wont have the slightest clue who you are. pay me £130 by pay pal on the first of the month. crackwhore. kill yourself.
United Kingdom - 17/12/04
Anything you want
i'll do anything you want for 300 bucks for 30 minutes...i'll do anything for u, anything to u and let u do whatever u want to me...
Canada - 29/11/04
ill do anything for any price...just as long as its over 20 bucks. WHORES ROCK!!!!!!
Canada - 29/11/04
Procrastinate no more!
Are you a lazy slob? Can't be arsed to do anything much except slouch semi-conscious on your piss-stained sofa eating chips with a six pack of Tennants at your feet and another in your vile belly as you yell cliches at Match Of The Day? Constantly putting off doing everything because you're to fat and unfit to move? Procrastinate no longer. For a very reasonable sum I will live your life for you, leaving you free to stay sofabound & comatose in your greasy pit of a living room. Yes, for a negotiated fee and access to your bank account, I will keep up your social life, pubbing and clubbing with your mates, eating in top class restaurants, playing golf or frequenting casinos. I will do your job, paying special attention to leaving dos and Christmas parties. Hell, I'll even shag your wife and/or girlfriend for you if necessary (excess may be payable, depending on age and appearance - head-sized paper bags may be required in extreme cases. However, discounts could apply for those of you with large breasted blonde partners aged between 18-30). At the end of each week, I will report back with a diary of what "you" have been getting up to, so that you can be sure that you haven't missed anything while sitting cabbage-like in your own flea-ridden stench day after day after day. Just remember, though, you will have no say in how I live your life. After all, as you haven't been bothered up until now, you can just keep schtum and let me get on with it. Rest assured I'll be living it to the max, spending your money and pleasuring myself with your women, workmates, family and friends also at your expense, selflessly freeing you up to spend your days scratching your sweaty balls in front of reruns of Trisha and Sally Jessy Raphael. Don't delay, mail today for a free quote. (Please enclose nude pictures of spouses/partners for accurate appraisal and current bank/credit card statement).
United Kingdom - 23/11/04
Anything you can do - I can do better
Think you're the best at something. Well you're not. I do it better! Tell me any of your achievements and I will claim to have done better. Or maybe even one of your friends/enemies thinks they have done well. Send me their achievement and I will claim to have done better. My smug and arrogant tone will provide all the proof necessary that I have indeed done better, and having already achieved such greatness I will refuse to enter into any competition to prove myself. I can do this for the very small fee of £2 per email and £10 per phonecall/fax. No claim is too audacious for me to make - I have done everything better than you.
United Kingdom - 20/11/04
just ask and you shall recieve.the first times free
United States of America - 19/11/04
I have ANYTHING you want
From Houston, Texas I can do anything AND everything you want to see or do. I can say or write anything you want to hear or read. Pricing is negotiable according to what I get to do for you, when you want it, the danger it puts me in and what I may get out of it. If another organism is necessary, please add 25% per human, 50% for other mammals. I exclude plant life due to my respect for the environment. You shall be solely responsible for all costs including, but not limited to, travel, room & board, operating expenses, insurance and any medical costs incurred. Can't wait to hear from you.
United States of America - 31/10/04
I'll do anything for money. If you have anything for me to do contact me at
France - 28/10/04
Astrologer and Cook
Want your chart read by a professional astrologer who's also been teaching the subject for 12 years? Face to face session in London £80 (2 hour consult incl tape) Want some fantastic food catered for your course or dinner party? Weird diets and veggie stuff a speciality but can/will cook anything. £10-£20 per head depending on numbers & menu.
United Kingdom - 19/10/04
i won't do anything worth while. Watch me waste space!
i will sit around and moan about the state of our country while claiming dole in two different names. this money will then be invested in a local bookmakers. while moaning about the state of my country, i will on occaisonstop and moan about other countries, and about how they are ruining ours. CAUTION: anyone who is not white, has a job, some degree of education, or some common fucking sense may not appreciate this.
United Kingdom - 13/10/04
Jefferson Hack - Low Rates!
You all know me, I'm the one dumped by Kate Moss for being too average looking to contend with her beautiful world. I will do anything you want for a line of cocaine. Anything.
United Kingdom - 12/10/04
Well...i would almost do anything that doesnt include: perverted stuff, sex with men or ugly and fat women, i wouldnt clean anything just chill in your crib and make your life a living hell!, i actually wouldnt do anything that would make u happy cuz im a lazy bastard that sits on his computer when his home...so fuck off!!!! PS. <3<3<3
Finland - 12/10/04
Got a dare for me? Well then, send me a message or an email with the dare, i will consider it and charge you anything from 1 to 5 pounds depending on the dare. I'll take photo's with my digicam and send them to you or video clips; but only once i get my payment via stormpay, i may be crazy, but i'm not stupid. If you live in sa we can organise something special.
Evil Lil Girl
South Africa - 9/10/04
Anything that won't kill me.
United Kingdom - 30/9/04
Anything you want
Give me any amount of money you see fit and I will give you anything I've got. Name your price. ONO.
United Kingdom - 22/9/04
cd's up for grab
I have thousands of cd's I would like to get rid of. So this is called lucky dip, just pay £1.50 in to my paypal account and I will send you a mystery cd. Ex DJ so it could be anything. No refunds. just send payment to paypal via my email address
United Kingdom - 19/9/04
TELL IT HOW IT IS
For £5 into my paypal account, I'll give you my opinion on anything. You might not like it but I can't help how I feel. I'll kick a fluffy bunny for every bit of spam I get too. So there small knob.
United Kingdom - 17/9/04
Pretend to be anyone you want me to be
If you want to fool your friends, collegues or family I will take on any false identity you like. I can appear in public with you if you live inthe London area. Alibi, fake girlfriend, practical joke...anything you like for any devious purposes. Prices from £50 depending on requirements.
United Kingdom - 15/9/04
I will say whatever you like to whomever you like or in whatever context as long as it exists within the realm of truth. Willing to adjust/customize language to whatever means necessary but will not tell an outright lie (default right to refuse to acknowledge your existence). Whether you don't want to say it, don't want to be the one to say it, don't know how to say it, or just want someone else to do it-- --for 8 US dollars via paypal, i will speak for up to 5 minutes of the subject of your choosing to the subject(s) of your choosing at the time of your choosing, or randomly in any category, with a selection of accents subject to availability, or in lack of witness provide proof by fifteen second digital video clip, burned onto disc for an additional fee. *Tell someone how you feel or how they're fired. *Why they should never wear those pants again. *Announce to a crowd that your band is getting less mediocre every day. *Prevent movie revenue of bad blockbuster movies *Tell that BMV offical they are offputting and not a little smelly. *Protest the bagel place you have to frequent for convenience. *Out yourself to distant relatives/old friends. *Complain about the service. *Tell your ex how much weight you lost making all that money having great sex. *Inform your old co workers about how much everyone is being paid and how your boss' "consultant" is from Happy Endings The mind boggles at the many options you can use to make this work for you! For 25 US dollars or equivalent information unit (CD,book, film, etc.) and phone card, extend your time to a minimum of half an hour, three topics or attempts involving C level celebrity contact. Favorable or continued contact is extra. More lengthy, detailed or complex efforts can be negotiated.
United States of America - 5/9/04
Are you talkin to me...
For free you can call me anything you want by email, phone or fax. You don't have to introduce yourself just insult me... the louder the better. Tel: [+44] (0)20 7758 0700 Fax: [+44] (0)20 7758 0701 or firstname.lastname@example.org
United Kingdom - 16/8/04
Anything for Free
well Just about anything I like it all
United States of America - 9/8/04
The Cleverness Patrol
I will delete the lame-o and pornyriffic notices on this site for free, free, free, free. Not that I have anything against pornyrifficness...I just wanna see more fun adverts for cake painting and drawing me from 50 words or less. Yep.
United Kingdom - 8/8/04
Anything you can do
I can do better or your money back gauranteed. No time wasters please
United Kingdom - 1/8/04
I will eat the world
For £5 a request, I will eat anything you suggest and let you know how it tastes.
United Kingdom - 31/7/04
Excuse to wife
For $5 you can use me as an excuse to your spouse. I'll admit to anything and send an email apologizing for my bad behavior and that it was all my idea and you were not at fault, or you were with me that night. For $25 Iíll telephone.
United States of America - 26/7/04
Anything you like.
I will do anything within mortal bounds. Fee depends on nature of what ever you would like me to do to/for you or anyone else. Price range is from $1.00-$35,000.00 USD.
United States of America - 23/7/04
Anything your heart desires
You got the money, I got the interest
Canada - 23/7/04
I will be your slave. I will do ANYTHING you demand for as long as you want. I can be at your beck and call for any whim you have. No fees payable just basic living conditions needed such as food, drink, and somewhere to sleep. Details: Male, 27, 6'2" tall, strong, intelligent, multi-skilled, interesting. This is genuine.
United Kingdom - 16/7/04
I'll do anything at all !!!!
For one million UK pounds I will do absolutely anything for you, with you, or to you! I obviously don't want to do anything that could see me in prison but would be yours for an act of your choice - for one night only! Buy now to avoid disappointment.
United Kingdom - 16/7/04
I'm in california, I'll do anything for cash. As long as I don't die, I'm down for it. Oh, no ass sex either. Other than that, anything. I'm good for barmitzvahs and parties too.
United States of America - 15/7/04
I will ask anyone anything, ever knifed someone?, was your mother lesbian? can i touch your cat? £5 per question £10 per anonymous question, ie: are you single
United Kingdom - 13/7/04
Fop for sale
Will do pretty much anything, however degrading it turns out to be, and however much he may regret it later. Hours of fun can be enjoyed simply by filling him up with Pernod, adding boiled eggs, cigarette ash etc. and letting him go. Will happily ply teenagers with drink before stripping naked and risking arrest on a railway platform. Moustache optional, floppy hair included. Price: 1 can of warm Stella.
United Kingdom - 13/7/04
PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING
And i'm skint so the right price could be a tenner if you're lucky! Make some suggestions. Girls only!!
United Kingdom - 12/7/04
I will think about doing anything for the right price - JUST ASK :) Im a girl - have access to a boy... be creative
Australia - 12/7/04
will do anything for semi famous people and anyone with a hotshot friend.
Norway - 9/7/04
ANYTHING FOR TEN DOLLAS.
United States of America - 7/7/04
Share the embarasment
for a grand I will do anything you want with you, given we get caught, that could in some way be illegal, mean or just plain stupid. When we get caught, you can blame it on me. I will look incredibly stupid and you will look slightly stupid for following the stupid guy. Ladies night is every monday. I will get into mischief free for Ladies.
United Kingdom - 6/7/04
Will do absolutely anything for 50p.
United Kingdom - 6/7/04
I'll Ride Anything
For a fee of $6,003.47 I will take you for a ride on an animal of your choice. We will journey across vast mountains of Colombia, harvesting coffee beans and cocaine along the way in order to maintain a constant "buzz". Whichever animal you choose, you must provide your own pooper-scooper, as we are trying to keep our country clean. (Disclaimer: Do not ever look directly at me!!!)
Greenland - 6/7/04
everything has a price.
send me what you think is fair tell me what you want if it is not einough i'll let you know if it is i'll do it.everything has its price.anything is posable.send me money.
United States of America - 5/7/04
Find anything on internet
10$ show you how to find anything on the internet.
United States of America - 4/7/04
Do whatever I feel like all week
Send me anything. Money, goods, concepts... anything.
In return, I will do what the fuck I want, no matter what you request of me.
Have fun, I know I will.
Paul the Hippy
United Kingdom - 3/7/04
I will do ALMOST anything for £10,000 which I desperately need!
United Kingdom - 3/7/04
anything computer related for any price. hack, crack, secure, program or just make pretty. name it and im your man
United Kingdom - 2/7/04
SLAVE FOR 1 YEAR
I will be your personal slave for 12 months, doing anything at all, (that dosnt involve death or injury to me or anyone else) for 1 million pounds.
This is a genuine offer.
Remains ANNON until further notice.
United Kingdom - 2/7/04
Cut price deals
I will do any of the things listed by anyone else on here at 20 percent cheaper price.
United Kingdom - 2/7/04
Roll up! Roll up! All the fun of the fair.
For a mere fiver I will send you a mystery item of my choosing. It could be anything from my vast array of "stuff", so what are you waiting for? Enjoy this classic school-fete-side-show style game before I change my mind.
United Kingdom - 1/7/04
For a low monthly fee of $599.99 I will teach your pets anything you think they should know. Having your porpoise know the periodic table is essentail when travelling abroad. I'll make sure the budgie remembers the winner of the 1956 Idaho Whack-A-Thon. Leave it to me, if they poop in a cage or on the floor, I can probably get through to them.
Canada - 1/7/04
Anything For Love
I will do anything for love - but I won't do that.
Fiji - 8/6/04
I will organise the contents of your untidy home into lovely order, (alphabetically if you wish) and in the process will bin anything I think you don't need or just shouldn't have. All this for the piffling sum of £150 a day. You can't say fairer than that.
United Kingdom - 21/3/04